The Scapegoat Identity
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You know that voice? The one that shows up when it’s quiet — whispering that you’re the problem. That you’re too much. Too broken. Too difficult to love.
That voice didn’t start with you. Someone put it there. And for years, you’ve been watering a seed that was never yours to plant.
How Scapegoating Works
“Run away, Simba. Run away and never return.”
— The line that rewrote a child’s identityThat’s how scapegoating works. It’s rarely loud. It’s rarely obvious. It’s someone in a position of power rewriting your story at the exact moment you’re too raw to question it.
Who told you that you were the problem?
The Lies They Told You
Tap each card to reveal the truth
“You’re too sensitive”
tap to revealTranslation: Your emotions made them uncomfortable. You weren’t too sensitive — you were deeply human.
“You’re crazy / paranoid”
tap to revealTranslation: Your intuition was right, and they needed you to doubt yourself.
“You’re the problem”
tap to revealTranslation: They needed a villain so they wouldn’t have to face their own reflection.
“You ruined everything”
tap to revealTranslation: They were looking for someone to blame. The story was never about you.
Why False Identities Stick
When your nervous system is in survival mode, you’re not analyzing — you’re adapting. Your brain doesn’t ask, “Is this true?” It asks, “How do I stay safe?”
This is Confirmation Bias:
That’s not truth. That’s programming.
Identity Wounds Change How You Live
The story becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Not because it’s true. Because you keep living as if it is.
Three Steps to Break Free
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Say it out loud. Write it down. “I’ve been living like I’m the broken one. The difficult one. The too-much one.” You can’t question what you won’t name.
Who gave you that identity? What was happening when you started believing it? This isn’t blame — it’s clarity. Lies don’t survive examination.
Look for moments that prove the opposite. Times you were loved. Times you were wanted. Your mind’s been filtering them out. Bring them back into focus.
You were never the problem.
You were just told you were — by someone who needed you to carry their blame.
That identity — broken, too much, unlovable — it’s not who you are. It’s just a story told in your weakest moment.
You can set it down now.
